Monthly Archives: February 2014


Dude, working and momming is hard. I didn’t intend to take a hiatus, but holy shit. I am posting this from my phone. While pumping. We’ll see how this goes.

I refer to Cayenne’s day care as school. The idea is that this will make me feel less guilty about leaving him there every single day. It does not. But I do it anyway.

We go to the best provider in town. The only one in the county that is NAEYC accredited. I know he likes it there. And I really do have to work — that is, if we want to continue to meet our obligations — so it’s not like there are a lot of other options.

None of that makes me feel any better about sending him there, so the school fiction persists.

I just commented on Bunny’s post about finding a preschool that it brings up so many feelings.

I am a product of moderately shitty public schools. In 11th grade English class we read Michael Crichton. In AP American History we spent a ridiculous amount of time making presentations to prove to the corporate donors who’d provided our computer lab that we were making good use of said lab. This may be why AP history stopped at the Hoover administration at my school.


We did have a computer lab. We did have AP history. So I know that right there I was in a better situation than a lot of kids.

Now we live in a county that has one of the top school systems in the state. However, our state is almost the worst in the nation for public schools. So . . . The best of the worst, I guess? And this is where Cayenne will go to school.

Do I send him to the public elementary school down the street? The one that proudly notes they are sponsored by Burger King because they don’t get enough public money to keep the doors open? Do I send him to a private school that pushes a religion I don’t believe in? Do I just fucking move?

And to what degree am I just being a snob? I mean, yes, my public school experience was not great, but I can read and reason and at one time I could do trigonometry, so does it really matter how “good” the school system is? Is it really all about making a home that values learning?