Cayenne spent less than 24 hours in the NICU. While he was there I got to see him twice: the first night I was wheeled in on my hospital bed, and the following day my husband brought me over in a wheelchair.
Seeing him there was such a complex thing. It was at once the happiest and the saddest thing I had ever seen. On the one hand, there was my child, hooked up to god-knows-what that goes beep in the night, with an IV stuck into his tiny foot and a tube down his throat and a ridiculous helmet on for his oxygen, and I couldn’t even hold him. On the other hand, there was my child. He was finally here and I was just overflowing with love.
He is so beautiful.