48 hours after the first one: 419.
My next appointment is for (get this) an ultrasound. Holy shit.
It’s really hard for me to wrap my mind around the fact that this is really happening. I find myself a little surprised at the apparent depth of my belief that this was going to fail. It’s like I keep needing additional proof that it worked, and I suspect that by the time I have the ultrasound (a little over a week from now) I will have convinced myself I’m not actually pregnant.
This is a new and different mindfuck, ladies.
I’m trying to be unreservedly happy, but so far I’m stuck in this weird place of convincing myself over and over again that this is real, that I’m not actually going to whoops! get my period today* and it will all have been a sick joke.
Infertility: it gets you coming and going.
* Though, in an act of willful belief, I did take the tampons out of my purse today. That’s a step forward, right?