This week I am both pregnant and not pregnant.
Yesterday, when we found out our remaining two embryos were not able to be frozen (they stopped growing), we were sure it was all over. But we talked each other down out of our respective trees and we’re both feeling a little better today.
There is some world-record shit going on with my breasts right now. They were not small before, but I have crossed the line from”well-endowed” to “porn star.” I am pretty sure this is from the progesterone.
Yesterday my temperature went down, then today it was back up. We have consulted Dr. Google regarding implantation dips, and it did happen around the right time. However, I am pretty sure it was because our house was freaking cold yesterday morning.
Today I couldn’t stop eating. I ate breakfast, which I never do, and snacked all day long at work (I will have to replenish my stash of Larabars and Ritz crackers), and inhaled two giant bowls of pasta for dinner right after work. I am pretty sure this is because I have no self-control.
I am actually holding up pretty well emotionally so far, but I don’t think I can handle much more of this bodily minutiae. The specific size and soreness of my breasts? The amount of pasta I can snarf down? Temperature variations? The utter mundanity of this is driving me crazy. I am, of course, hyper-aware of everything that I am feeling. Yesterday I texted my husband:
I am SO SLEEPY. Is it lack of caffeine? Progesterone side effect? Pregnancy symptom? Boring day at work? The world may never know.