What ever made me think I could do this? I can’t do this. Can I quit?
I am lying in bed in the middle of a lovely Saturday afternoon because I didn’t get any sleep last night because I am a giant fucking mess.
My follicle growth has “arrested,” apparently. I have lots and lots of follicles but they are mostly hanging out around 13-14 mm, with a few over 15 and 2 over 17 (RE says they want to see 3 that big). I am triggering tonight for a retrieval on Monday, and I just don’t think I can handle it if there are no mature eggs.
And even if I make it through this weekend, and even if it works, and even if there is a baby next June, what in the world makes me think I am capable of that?
What hubris is it, to think I should be entrusted with the care of a human being? Me. I can’t even manage to answer emails in a timely manner, and I think I can take care of a person?