i can hear you, you know

I didn’t test at all this last cycle.  I had no expectation that it would work; it felt like we were going through the motions, some kind of very expensive and unpleasant kabuki so that we could look back and say that at least we tried.  There wasn’t much satisfaction in being right — CD1 was as depressing as ever, CD3 was as uncomfortable as ever, what with the wanding and all, and here I am a week later in a hospital waiting room for another HSG.

Whenever my RE looks at me via ultrasound he says things to his medical students like “scarring” and “pelvic adhesions.”  He says “unusual shape” and “difficult positioning.”  But in the consult room he says “no reason to think the worst” and “should be clear.”  But over the past few months it’s become clear that he thinks there is something going on in my uterus as a result of my myomectomy.  He has brought this up in the past but his recommendation has been to just go ahead and do the IUI, but this time he recommended “getting a look at things” before we go any further.  I was planning to ask for this anyway since I am not actually deaf in the exam room and I can hear what says to the med students, so it was nice that we were on the same page.

So here I sit, waiting to find out if there’s yet more wrong with me.  For the privilege I will be paying a cool $1500 out of pocket unless the insurance company decides to pony up.*

* Not bloody likely.

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6 responses to “i can hear you, you know

  1. I’m sorry it was a BFN, even if that’s what you expected. And the HSG. What a drag to have to repeat that, but it’s better to know what’s going on. I just wish you didn’t have to drop a grand and a half to know, ya know. But this is somthing so very important to you and the mister, so it is money well spent.

  2. Oh how annoying. I am hoping that the HSG is not unpleasant, as much as any of this prodding of lady business can be really fucking awesome, ever. Ugh. But something nice and fixable would be great news.

  3. I hope everything is all clear. I know I’ve been freaking out as well, thinking there’s something wrong with me, in addition to the no sperm thing (even though we have no reason to believe this as we still haven’t really “tried” to get pregnant). Still, it can’t hurt to know for sure.

  4. *Another* hsg? Out-of-pocket? That’s horrifying. For $1500, they better have you laying on a velvet lounge with men-like-greek-gods holding your feet.
    Either way, I’m sorry you’re having to go through all of this, and I hope they figure out what’s going on. More than that, I hope they find something that is easily fixed.

  5. I’m really sorry. This whole shitty thing really sucks. And while I can see why he’d want to do a couple of IUIs before doing another HSG (my RE was all about doing lots of IUIs before doing anything else, since it does tend to be cheaper, and hey, if it works…) it seems like that logic doesn’t take into account how FUCKING devastating it is to face a negative result. I’m also really sorry you’ve been getting one message from him and another from the things he’s saying to the many many observers of your poor private regions. I hope this one wasn’t too agonizing–let us know what the result was.

  6. Pingback: miracle, part 4 | ginger and lime

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