baby dance

Studies* show that the phrase “baby dance” is universally reviled by readers of this blog.  So what do you call it?

My husband is partial to “boinking” or “gettin’ it on.”

I usually just say “having sex.”

“Intercourse” seems too clinical, like we’re appearing in a David Attenborough documentary about mating habits.  “The pair engage in intercourse.  If the female is in her fertile period, the hoped-for baby may be only a few months away!  Of course, not all pairs mate successfully.”

“Making love” makes it sound like we will be retiring to our shag-carpeted boudoir to do it on a revolving bed while looking at ourselves in the mirrored ceiling.  While listening to Barry White.

“Fucking” is something that happens in a dorm room with the black light turned on and Phish on the stereo, after imbibing an indeterminate substance from a Solo cup.

Still, I agree with the commenters that just about anything is better than “baby dance.”  *shudder*

*And by “studies” I mean my having read the comments on my last post.  Science, people.


19 responses to “baby dance

  1. I like to call it “marital relations” or “doing our duty” just because it makes my husband do like this irritated sigh thing 😛


    I’m with you, I prefer having sex. Baby dancing? Durr, no thanks.

  3. Haha I love your descriptions! “Making love” just creeps me out. I imagine the most sickening-sweet soap opera sex scene, complete with getting carried to the bed in a floor-length negligee and having elevator music in the background. Gross.
    We just call it “having sex” and “getting laid,” or DH will make bad sexual jokes (ex: “Can you plug in the phone charger?” “I’ll plug your charger…” Sigh.)
    My ex, however, loved to say “sex you up” or “put you in a sex coma.” And he wasn’t joking…

  4. Port of Indecision

    The term “making love” also creeps me out.

    We just call it sex. I do love your descriptions of what each of those possible terms makes you think of though 🙂

  5. I usually just say “doin’ it”. Not very ladylike, but eh, who cares? But in serious conversations, it’s always just sex. Because, come on…we’re adults, right? Oh, and I used to crack up at the blueray disc “BD Live” feature. My Hubby was confused every time I laughed at it, so I finally explained what “BD” means in the online TTC world and he thought it was stupid, too.

  6. I always like to pretend that BD means booty dance. It still sounds ridiculous though. I’m with you and usually just say “sex,” although “doin’ it” has definitely escaped my lips more than once…

  7. I don’t think I’ve ever made love in my life. Blech. We’re all about the having sex, or getting laid. And I’m so glad my husband has never learned about the dreaded BD. Grotesque!

  8. First off, we have resigned ourselves to never actually reproducing by “doing the nasty” (not that I usually use that term).
    Second, I hate the term “baby dance” too! We use the term “intimacy” or “Sex.” Usually, it goes two ways: 1) no words exchanged, just early morning roll in the hay, or 2) I walk in to the living room and say, “Hey, would you like to join me in the bedroom?”

  9. the description you gave for making love would actually make me think of shagging, because it is so Austin Powers. “Shall we shag now or shag later” Have you seen it? It’s ridiculously funny.
    I like boinking as a term. I’ve never used it, but I may start now. Otherwise, I think sex is a non-ambiguous way to put it.

  10. I can’t stand baby dance, either. All I can think of is the dancing baby from Ally McBeal. Not sexy! I love your description of “intercourse.” You could always go the uber clinical way and say “timed intercourse.”

  11. ugh… baby dance… i hate that term… my husband and i just wink and then move to the bedroom… that’s about all it takes…

  12. Late to the game and I already posted about it – Business time!!

  13. Rachel @ Eggs In A Row

    I’m with Detour! Baby dance…oy.

    I LOVED your description of fucking. That is hilarious. Seriously.

    Sex is just so romantic now that I say things like, “Did we make a baby yet?” or “Hurry up, I need to lay with my legs in the air for 30 minutes and it’s already 10 PM on a school night.”



  14. We usually say “boning” or “doing sexy time.” Yeah. We’re weird. Boning kinda makes me think of cavemen or something and doing sexy time sounds like an item on a checklist or something. Occasionally, just to be funny, we smoosh.

  15. This is hysterical!!
    Baby dance makes me giggle. I always picture some tribal fertility dance around a fire with body paint while you chant something. I usually say “having sex” too in face-to-face conversations. One of the apps I have on my phone has it as “Intimate” and you just put yes or no….makes me think of the Skintimate commercials….”Skintimate? ….or Not?”
    I will usually write it out as BD, just because it’s short and sweet….2 letters. But when talking to the hubby, I usually resort to the funny, off-the-wall innuendos too…(the phone charger…ha ha ha ha!!)

  16. i love your husbands response…. “take your pants off”. hahahahaha
    my hubs calls it “business time”

  17. Okay, I know it’s an older post, but I had to commend because I hate hate HATE the baby dance thing. Seems like a junior high kid made that up so they didn’t have to say “the s word.” My RE says “havin’ sex” with a southern accent that cracks me up. One of the nurses calls it “a date” as in “Oooh, you’ve got a date tonight girl” when I had a positive OPK same day as a nurse visit. I think we just say sex. Or maybe we say something totally ridiculous and immature and I’m just not paying attention. Yeah. That.

  18. Oh my. I HATE the term “baby dance.” It is so much worse than “making love.”
    I call it sex, boning (which makes me feel like a 14-year-old), sometimes I call it “business sex” mostly when it is around ovulation and we are all sexed out. 😉

  19. Shagging… love it. The word and the act! Baby dance – kind of makes it sound like that’s the only reason you can do it – for “procreation purposes”! And yeah, “making love”… I think you have to say it in a breathy voice.

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