I don’t even know how to write this post. It just sounds ridiculous and I can’t think of a way to frame this that fits into the narrative of the last few months. Deep breaths and bullet points. That’s what I’m going with.
- Monday, 9:00 p.m. I get a Facebook message from an old grad school friend. She wants my husband to call her.
- 9:20 p.m. A faculty member at the university where my friend teaches has quit abruptly. Classes start next week. My husband emails a CV.
- 10:00 p.m. My husband gets an email from my friend with a job offer.
Holy crap. We’re moving. My husband is flying out this weekend to start teaching on Monday; he’s digging out old syllabi (he’s taught these courses before at different institutions) and trying to figure out which books, CDS, and electronic gear he can’t do without for a few weeks.
He’s going to stay with my friend for a few days and look for a place to live.
I’m going to stay behind until probably the middle of October, tie up as many loose ends as I can at my job, do a couple of performances that I’m already committed to, and pack up our stuff.
I don’t really know what I’ll be doing with myself once I join him. Obviously the job I interviewed for is out: not only is it in a different state, but it’s subject to the plodding timeline of a university search committee. They’re not expecting to have a decision for another few weeks. I have called to leave a message with them to ask if there is any news, but no amount of urgency is going to make that move any faster. It is too bad — it would have been a great opportunity for me, but my husband’s opportunity is a bird in the hand and there’s no way we can pass it up.
I’m kind of shocked at how many people have suggested to us in the last 24 hours that we may want to continue to pursue both opportunities and live apart. I know there are married couples who do this, but I don’t understand it. We’re going to have to be apart for about two months to make this move work, and that’s going to be hard enough. I can’t imagine deciding to live apart on an open-ended basis. And it doesn’t even really solve anything — we’d just be deferring making a decision about whose career is more important, because eventually one of us would have to move to be near the other.
I am just starting to process all of this; I’ve been composing the job interview update post in my head to update all of you on last week, and then this drops out of the sky! I guess that’s just life, and you have to go with it.