you guys are teh awesomest

Wow, lots of good thoughts in comments on my last few posts!  I am never sure if anyone goes back to see responses in comments, so I’m going to pull a few of the questions I got up here and answer them.

St: Elsewhere:  Six times in seven years – your grandma has seen reproduction from a different world. Are all those babies living? My maternal grandma had 13 pregnancies, and has four daughters to show for it. Some of her children born full-term died post-birth. After I came to know that bit, my heart broke for her. She faced so much. I think that is what you must be feeling for your grandma too.

Yes, all six of those babies are living!  That’s my dad, 3 aunts, and 2 uncles.  What your grandmother must have gone through.  And when I think about my grandma (and my mom’s mother as well, who had 7 children, 6 living) what I wonder is — would they have chosen this?  Obviously it all turned out OK, with great big close families, but when they were in the thick of it, pregnant with 2 in diapers and 3 more needing to get ready for school in the morning, is it really what they would have chosen?  Maybe they would have — and it’s certainly not my place to judge.

Bunny:  And your uncle’s advice is lovely, but …what does it mean, in practical terms? Take some shitty job for the sake of the second income?

Yes, that’s exactly what it means, at least in the short term.  We need to get our household budget on track before we can even think of anything else.  In the long term, it means thinking about life priorities: making sure we’re both putting family building ahead of other things.

IR:  Spicy ginger soda sounds really good, actually. Why didn’t it taste good?

Yeah, we thought it would be amazing.  It ended up tasting pretty weird.  I think we got the proportions wrong, and I think the red pepper flakes added a strangely bitter taste.  I think if I do this again I will use fresh Thai chillies instead, and possibly muddle some pineapple and mint leaves in the glass before pouring on the syrup and soda water.  And I will definitely still use the gin!

Roccie:  Are you afraid to explore it here due to family readers?

I am just not sure I’m ready to open up the can of worms that is our current situation.  My family doesn’t read this blog, but my husband does occasionally, and I don’t want things written down that I may not have said out loud yet.

 

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3 responses to “you guys are teh awesomest

  1. Our grandparents lived in a world where there was no contraception. There was reproduction till there was the ability. Plus, cultural and religious factors were also in play (true even today, I think). I don’t think they had much of a choice.

    BTW, my paternal grandma had a better luck. She had as many kids from as many pregnancies.

    Your uncle’s suggestion – I hope you and hubby can process it and think about it.

  2. Yaaarg. I don’t want your husband to have a work a “loveless” job, too. But I suppose it is sensible and practical. I hope he gets a super high paying job! I will fantasize that he gets a fabulous job in a state with mandated IF insurance coverage, and that he makes so much money you can live on his income while searching for the job of your dreams which then comes along much sooner than expected and then you get pregnant without IVF and then he can quit to take care of the little one while waiting for the job of HIS dreams to come along…
    Sorry, this was probably depressing, rather than a fun excursion into fantasy land… I just want all your dreams to come true, because you’re awesome.

  3. I often tell myself it is a job, I am not volunteering. I put my passion in on my own hours – work brings the money for the people I love, including those that remain frozen. I send your tough husband and you my best. I think you can do anything short term when you see the big picture.

    Could you consider uninviting your husband from your blog for a while? I cannot think of a better place to collect your thoughts than here. If not (I can see how awkward that might be. I will always remember what an excellent guest blogger he was… and the penguin!). You could start adding some adoption blogs to your reading list, if you have not already.

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