a man, a plan, a canal (ok, so there’s no canal)

OK, so no matter what we do at this point we have to start with money.  Adoption, IVF, both cost money we don’t have.

So here is a realistic plan:

January-May 2011:  Cheer on Husband as he finishes his degree!  Yay!

June 2011:  Hopefully Husband will have a job.  If not, well, the rest of the plan kind of goes to shit.  Because I’m not interested in becoming a sobbing mess of goo right now, I’ll assume he finds a job.  (If he doesn’t, the rest of the plan becomes:  Stay where we are.  Keep working at the job I hate.  Never have a baby.)

June-August 2011:  Possibly move, depending on the location of Husband’s magical job that he will totally get.  Preferably to a state with mandated insurance coverage for IVF.  Or New Zealand.  Hope that my mad skillz as a nonprofit administrator will land me a job as well.

September 2011:  Earliest possible time to start preparing for IVF or adoption.  Likely means finding a new clinic, having tests repeated, and/or starting the home study process.

September 2012:  Earliest realistic chance of parenthood.

OK.  I can live with that.  I’ll be 34 in 2012–that’s still reasonably young, right?  (Please tell me that’s still reasonably young.  Please don’t tell me if I want IVF to work I have to do it right fucking now.)

It’s a plan.  A lot still has to happen, mostly depending on my husband and his job search (since I’ve already torpedoed my own academic career with four years in administration while he’s in school), but at least it’s a plan.  With a timeline.  And even though the whole thing could go to hell in a heartbeat, seeing it laid out like that makes me feel better.




8 responses to “a man, a plan, a canal (ok, so there’s no canal)

  1. 34 is extremely young! Hey, at a decent clinic the IVF stats don’t really start to drop much until you are at least 38 or so. And even then, I did IVF at 39 and it worked right away. Please don’t worry about this–you have time!

  2. It’s a great plan, full of possibilities and options 🙂

  3. Wonderful plan– I’ll be interested to see whether you choose IVF, adoption, or embryo adoption…

  4. I like the new, realistic plan. I think 34 sounds awesomely young. I am putting my metaphoric money on this great plan for you and Husband.
    Happy Holidays lovely!

  5. It’s an awesome plan. 34 is the best age ever, and extremely youthful and sprightly. And yeah, while the heat is on at 35, there’s not actually a magic line where all your eggs shrivel up at midnight on your birthday. The thing I like best about the plan is that you get some time to focus on other things (not that finishing a degree and finding a job are exactly fun, but hey) and there’s lots of time built in for you to think about how you feel and which path is best.

  6. The plan, it’s so important to have one, at least for me. Your plan sounds like a good one! Congrats to hubs on the degree and yes, let’s hope he finds an amazing job with great coverage for IF treatments. If you are open to moving you can always look into going to a state that has mandated treatment, like MA, my future home. Happy new year!

  7. I think it sounds like a great plan. Best of luck to your husband on the job front!

  8. It’ s a great plan. And sometimes all that matters is that there IS a plan to begin with. Just having something planned out makes you feel like this ‘thing’ can be controlled, and thats a good feeling.
    YesssssSSSSS!!!! 34 is still young. September 2012 is (almost) next year so really not long to wait at all.
    PS – you know if your DH lands a job in NZ you are going to have to come be my best friend in real life, right?

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