OK, so no matter what we do at this point we have to start with money. Adoption, IVF, both cost money we don’t have.
So here is a realistic plan:
January-May 2011: Cheer on Husband as he finishes his degree! Yay!
June 2011: Hopefully Husband will have a job. If not, well, the rest of the plan kind of goes to shit. Because I’m not interested in becoming a sobbing mess of goo right now, I’ll assume he finds a job. (If he doesn’t, the rest of the plan becomes: Stay where we are. Keep working at the job I hate. Never have a baby.)
June-August 2011: Possibly move, depending on the location of Husband’s magical job that he will totally get. Preferably to a state with mandated insurance coverage for IVF. Or New Zealand. Hope that my mad skillz as a nonprofit administrator will land me a job as well.
September 2011: Earliest possible time to start preparing for IVF or adoption. Likely means finding a new clinic, having tests repeated, and/or starting the home study process.
September 2012: Earliest realistic chance of parenthood.
OK. I can live with that. I’ll be 34 in 2012–that’s still reasonably young, right? (Please tell me that’s still reasonably young. Please don’t tell me if I want IVF to work I have to do it right fucking now.)
It’s a plan. A lot still has to happen, mostly depending on my husband and his job search (since I’ve already torpedoed my own academic career with four years in administration while he’s in school), but at least it’s a plan. With a timeline. And even though the whole thing could go to hell in a heartbeat, seeing it laid out like that makes me feel better.