This conversation is presented in its entirety. I don’t come off very well but it’s as close as I will ever get to come to saying some of these things out loud. I honestly do strive to approach every conversation and every interaction from a perspective of compassion and empathy, but sometimes the snark will out. Even though I know she was only trying to help. I am a terrible person.
Friend: Hey, what’s going on with you with the whole fertility thing? It’s been a few months since that surgery!
Ginger*: Well, actually it looks like there is another problem. It’s very unlikely we will be able to conceive naturally.
Lime**: Are you fucking kidding me? Am I having this conversation?
Friend: Oh, that’s too bad. So what are you going to do?
Ginger: IVF would be an option, but it’s not covered by insurance so I don’t know if we’ll be able to do it.
Lime: No, seriously, at what point will it be socially acceptable for me to crawl under the coffee table and get into the fetal position?
Friend: Wow, how much does it cost? Can’t you just start saving up? I mean, you’ve got time, right?
Ginger: Yeah, it costs about $14,000 for one cycle. Also it’s a really involved thing to do, and it can be emotionally exhausting so what I really have to work through is whether I really want to do this, knowing that I will have one chance and one chance only.
Lime: Yeah, I’ll start saving up. I’ll just drop my spare change in a piggy bank at the end of each day. Surely I’ll hit 14 grand in no time! Even faster if I cut back on luxuries like rent and electricity.
Friend: Oh, well, you can always adopt, right? Wouldn’t that be cheaper?
Ginger: Actually adopting from foster care may be the best option for us. It’s something we’re looking into.
Lime: Wow, why didn’t I ever think of that? I’m so glad we’re having this conversation, because between this and the great suggestion to save up for IVF, I just don’t know what I would do without you!
Friend: And if that doesn’t work out, you could always mentor someone, or be a Big Sister! Have you ever thought of that?
Ginger: Yeah, thanks for the suggestion!
Lime: Yeah, because mentoring is exactly the same as having my own child. Because what I’m looking for is Plans A, B, C, and D. Seriously, can I just crawl under the fucking coffee table now?
*What I said out loud
**What I was thinking on the inside