This started out as a reply to the comments on my last post but it started to get long, so I decided to give it its own little place in the sun.
Thanks for all the good thoughts. I have been taking a little break from the blog over the past few days (sorry for not commenting at your places!), as my positive outlook has become decidedly askew of late.
I know that what I do is not really the same as a hobby; but it just gets harder and harder to justify spending so much time and effort on something that is never going to pay the bills. (And the bills do need to get paid.) I wonder what will happen if I ever do manage to get knocked up. I certainly can’t quit my job; I wonder with more than a little trepidation about what will happen to my performing aspirations. Something will have to give, and I fear that it will be my playing, which of course is what I’ve been training, working, and striving for since I was nine.
But I’m just being negativissimo, and also getting 50 steps ahead of myself, which is how I get into trouble with anxiety….chill out, chill out, I’m not pregnant and probably won’t ever be……