I started this blog in March and since then I have collected an amazing group of bloggers whose stories I have been following. There are 24 of you there on my blogroll, and you represent so many different aspects of the ALI community.
As I’ve said before, I love the ALI label because it is so inclusive. There are so many ways to get here and so many different experiences we all have. One way to think about that is to start parsing: infertility, subfertility, childfree, secondary infertility, partner’s infertility, recurrent pregnancy loss, pregnancy after infertility, and even further, into specific diagnoses. The Stirrup Queen’s blogroll does that, and it’s a great resource for finding others who took the same road to get here.
Regardless of how we got here, how long we’ve been here, and how long we’ll stay, here we all are. And the only way to acknowledge that is to be as INCLUSIVE as possible.
I’m switching the label on my blogroll to say ALI instead of IF for that reason, and while that is certainly breaking news (*eyeroll*), it isn’t really the reason for this post.
Right now, at this moment, of the 24 of you who are listed to the right, SEVEN OF YOU ARE PREGNANT. SEVEN. If you’re keeping score at home, that’s 29%. In 5 months. Not a bad success rate, eh? 🙂
I was thinking about that, and thinking about how when I first started reading ALI blogs, how it would make my heart sink to click on a blog to find ultrasound photos and morning sickness updates. I really appreciated finding neatly sorted blogrolls that indicated “IF” and “pregnant” and “parenting.” I avoided “pregnant” and “parenting” like the plague. I used to think, “Well, it worked for them. They couldn’t understand.”
But now I’ve been here a while, and I’ve gotten to know you, and you DO understand. Because you’re here too. We’re all here, wherever “here” is and however we got here. *waves hello* And my heart has expanded and I am so genuinely happy for ALL SEVEN OF YOU and I am ashamed to have had such a divisive and selfish reaction in the past.
Maybe I will be fertile once I have recovered from this surgery. Maybe the fibroids were just masking another issue and I will never, ever get pregnant. I just don’t know. But I am hopeful, and I am grateful for all of you, and I am here. Regardless of what happens, even if I get knocked up on our very first try (ha!), I will always have been here. I will always understand.