I had figured on spending a lot of time blogging during this recovery. I was going to subject you to daily updates on the appearance of my incision, freak out about real/imagined symptoms, you know, the usual obsessive deal.
I was also going to go back and develop my thoughts on reproductive choices and not-mothers. I don’t think I’m really done thinking through that, and Leslie’s post about the article in SELF magazine has brought some more related things up for me. I have been thinking of the relationships among economic status, social class, and the choices that are available, accepted, and/or visible in the public discourse.
But I haven’t been doing that, at least thus far. I have, instead, been maintaining a grueling schedule of playing Scrabble with my mother* and obsessively watching Weeds. I have burned through the first 2 seasons already. Today I am going to have to get serious about doing some work, though: my quartet has had some personnel changes and the web site needs to be updated, and also:
I HAVE A JOB INTERVIEW NEXT WEEK.
It would pretty much be a lateral move career-wise and the money would be about the same, but it would be a chance to get out of the insane situation I’m currently in. My colleague has already called me TWICE with work questions and I have only been out for a week; I’m seriously considering being “asleep” from now on when I see the work number on my caller ID. Just thinking about going back to work puts the knots back in my stomach. Yesterday after talking to her and explaining where to find the files she needed, it took me a good hour to calm down. I am honest-to-god more anxious about going back to work than I was about the surgery. This makes me think that maybe, just possibly, just perhaps, this job is not such a good fit for me. Also they need to stop fucking calling me.
This new job is really a strong possibility: I know some of the people over there and I know they’re very interested in me, so I want to take some time this week to really research their programs so that I can nail the interview. From everything I have heard it’s a great place to work and I am hopeful that they’ll offer me something.
My question for all of you: what do you think of the ethics of using my FMLA to job-hunt? Because in addition to doing my research for this interview, I’m hoping to start sending out resumes in a serious way, now that I’ve got the time (and the computer!!) to look for openings at other nonprofits in the area as well. Am I screwing over the university where I currently work by doing this? Is there something bad-faith about trying as hard as I can not to return from my FMLA? Please let me know what you think.
*Yesterday I scored 431 points, thank-you-very-much.