because i don’t actually totally suck

I’m going to share some positive things that have been happening, in no particular order.  I think it’s pretty important for me to remember that even though it’s easier to dwell on negatives, I don’t actually have to.  So with that in mind, here goes:

Things are getting a little better at work.  I don’t know if something has changed in my boss’s personal life that is making her feel differently, or if my (probably imperceptible) efforts at being more assertive are having a positive effect, but either way it seems like I am getting a little more respect than in recent weeks.  Hopefully this will last!

I played two concerts this week, both of which were favorably reviewed in our city’s major newspaper.  This is a fairly big step for me and my ensemble, since we are usually just reviewed in alternative press and niche websites.  Hooray for us!  More importantly, though, we played really well in both concerts.  We were pleased, the composers were pleased, and our small but enthusiastic audiences were pleased.  One of the works I did this week was a really new experience for me:  it was a solo work involving live processing and improvisation.  I played some music into a microphone, and the composer was sitting at a mixing board manipulating my sound, then playing it back through speakers so that on my next entrance I was accompanied by a digitally manipulated version of what I’d just played.  Then, once there were a few layers of that going on, I had to react to randomized sets of pitches appearing on a monitor and improvise over them on the fly.  It was the first time I’d done anything like it, and it went really well.  I am so pleased with myself.

I presented on writing effectively for my instrument at a workshop for young composers this week.  It went really well and I think (I hope) they learned a lot.  I am not a bad teacher once I get going!  There is life beyond being a secretary, and maybe all those years in grad school weren’t wasted after all.


6 responses to “because i don’t actually totally suck

  1. See, I told you you rock! Those are some really impressive positives. And I know (from those rare experiences in my life) how uplifting it can be to share something you care about and have it be appreciated.

  2. Well done, I think you need to acknowledge how much courage it takes to participate in concert… It terrifies me to be on display like that but you sound so at ease and confident with it. I am envious of that kind of confidence. And YAY! to things being better at work, that is definitely a good thing. xx

  3. Sounds like a really good week!!!

  4. Yay for getting respect at work! I know what it’s like to work under a not-so-great boss, and I’m glad things seem to be changing for you in that department.
    Also, congrats on the reviews! Sounds like a fantastic experience!

  5. Congrats on the good reviews! Wishing you all the best with your TTC journey!

  6. You sound very accomplished to me.

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