i write letters

Dear Therapist,

I think I am making you really uncomfortable.  I know that I am kind of a mess and it is clear that something I said a few weeks ago is really bothering you.

I didn’t mean to screw this up.  I know it must be really difficult and frustrating for you to have what is essentially the same conversation with me week after week.  It must be hard to understand how I could possibly be so thick, how I could fail to resolve such obvious issues. I am so sorry to have made a mess of this and I am starting to think that I’ve overstayed my welcome.

Should I come next week?  Or should I just let this fade away?  I know you have a waiting list and probably there is someone you could really help who isn’t getting a chance because of me.

I don’t know what to do.  I am so very grateful for the opportunity you have given me to examine myself, my actions and motivations.  On the one hand I know that there is nothing really wrong with me or with my life and that I should just quit whining and enjoy the ride; on the other hand I feel that I must be very deeply fucked up.  Either way I’m not sure what I expect you to do for me.

I am just so sorry to have fucked this up.




6 responses to “i write letters

  1. So you know I’m not a fan of your therapist, but it makes me sad to see you blaming yourself for his failure to help you. I mean, okay, if he’s giving you assignments and you’re blowing them off, then you are failing in your responsibilities to the process, but it mainly just sounds like he’s a HUGE PASSIVE JERK.

    I’m sure you have reasons for sticking with this person, so it’s not my place to offer advice (not that that stops me…), but I am really curious why you don’t try someone new. If you ever felt like writing about that, I’d be interested. And my life is awesome too, yet I’m miserable, so at least you have company…

    (P.S. Did you mean JaynesTOWN? *tries to outdork you* If so, yes, I think that’s just what the conception mines are like. Minus the mudders milk…)

  2. I felt sort of the same way about my therapist. Good luck deciding whether to stay or go. I know it must be hard.

  3. You’ve done nothing wrong and are definitly not thick… far from it. Therapist/patient relationships are really quite strange as we (as the patient) need a personal connection and deep understanding from our therapist and at the end of the day since we are paying them for a service thats exactly what we should recieve. However we always find a way to blame ourselves for their own incompetencies… It seems logical that its US who is at fault since we are the ones with the problems to begin with, right? I know how easy it is to jump to this conclusion but like bunny says if you aren’t getting what you need from this then maybe you could consider taking your cold hard cash to someone else who you do connect with? It just seems so cruel that you are doing all you can to help yourself and you are still not being helped. xxx

  4. I think you should give your therapist the letter.

    Either that or find a new therapist.

    The current relationship is not working if that is how you feel.

    And in no way should you be blaming yourself.

    *hugs* to you.

    IF is hard. I think I messed myself up by never getting help dealing with me infertility issues a long time ago. You are doing the right thing seeing someone. I just think maybe you need to a pick a new someone. Someone who makes you feel good and actually helps you.


    My dear, dear woman, you are right – but on another issue – chuck this SOB to the curb.

    You deserve the best. Not this crap.

  6. Pingback: good-bye to therapy « ginger and lime

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